Yesterday I remember thinking i was the happiest person in this whole earth, in the whole galaxy, in all of god´s creation. Could that only have been yesterday or was it endless light years ago??? I was thinking that the grass had never smelled grassier, the sky had never seemed so high. Now its all smashed down upon my head and i wish i could just melt into the blaaaaaa-ness of the universe and cease to exist.

I was delighted that i was so different. EVeryone in the whole unvierse was mad except me . I was the only sane and perfect being. Somewhere in my braini remembered reading that a thousand years with a man is as a day with Lord and i had found the answer.. I was even now in my new time length living the lives of a thousand men in the space of hours.


why am i so bad?' why do everyone hates me.. what can i do to make everyone happy why?? does this happen to me everytime and why me i juz had to feel this way??' why does life always seems unfair to me. At this stage in my life nothingness is a lot better than somethingness.
i have never been so damn exhausted in my life.


Goodbye dear home, goodbye dear good family, goodbye dear good friends. I really am leaving mostly because I love YOu all so much and i dont want you to ever know what a weak ad disreputable person i have been. ANd i hate being a highschool dropout.


ýýýIf you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.ýýý


TAKe care n I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU SO much